Ya know what. I LIKE Billy Talent, and always have. Good tune. Mother likes em too...

Stupid rain. So i look at the weather forcast channel thing and it says rain for the rest of the week. This is bullcrap! So, we get 3 heat-wave days for ever 1 week of rain? Summer is off to a soggy start. I REALLY want to go camping real bad. And it looks like Evolve may be the only chance in my future. If I get there. Speaking of which...

Anyone have 1-2 seats open in a vee-hickle for myself and possibly Mitch? All my ducks seem to be in a row minus how I'm getting there this year. Hitch hiking will be an option.

I have moved home. Back to momz. Out of 3o8.

This is what happened. Cortez bought a house [a friggin nice one too]..leaving me and Roach there. Instead of finding a new roomate, I took it was a chance to get out of there. So, we stayed for June. I was sorting out options, figuring out what to do. then one day, like many other days, I went exploring on the Vancouver Film School website, like I do every once in awhile, daydreaming and wishing. [http://vancouverfilmschool.com/]  THEN! I said FUCK IT! I'M FRIGGIN GONNA GO! So, I was off one day and mom and I went for a long walk to Stookie's, I told her the big lan. She said move home, save monies. Here I am.

I have been in contact with the awesome faculty at VFS. We've been keeping in touch. I've been figuring out financial options, and I'm hoping to be good to go for January's start date. If not, March. Either way, school or not, I will be moving.

I, and everyone else, needs off of this Island. there's a better world out there than here. I love this place. home is where the heart is. But I simply don't want to be stuck here doing shit-all for the next 20 years wishing I did something else, something I wanted to do. If all fails, hell, I'll come home. But I'm going to try.

I've also been trying to convince everyone to come with me. So, you know what to do.

I have a good list, care of the awesome people on facebook who responded to me, of things to do to fundraise. So, the next few months will be me, working my ass off at the two jobs I'm juggling, and saving for a big move across the country. In that time, I'll be making filmages as well. I already have a gang of awesome, creative peole who want to be involved in anything, so, lets get'er' on the go.

It's my life, It's now, or never.   : P

Life is good I guess. The stress of the move is going away. Big thanks to my mother, who helped me clean [ the only one, and she didn't ever live there] and get ready to move. Mitch and Craig for moving the heavy stuff haha. And M.J for being a cutie.

Now all I need is for the summer to actually turn into a real one and I'm good to go. Happy Canada Day!

~Nina

I Collect, I reject.

Collecting memory from last night. Sitting in undies, slightly Hung-over, but can't sleep due to bright lighting in room, which I chose to never do anything about for some reason. I talked smack about changing my furniture around so the sun wouldn't interrupt my sleep, and getting different like...cutains or some shit, but alas I sit here in this bright and sunny room still awake. Probably not for long though. But, the sunshine is making me feel better. Damn this pt. warms up. It's a bad thing. Especially when you have 50 people over in which 95% of them smoke cigarettes etc., more than likely all at once, because once one person sparks up everyone else's nicotine instinct sparks in thier brain and then they have to have a smoke too. wow i'm on a rant. but at least I'm blogging.

So Lastnight there was a party, and in celebration of having to deal with it, I started drinking when I got home from work. But not until after I cleaned my room. that was the deal with self. I did so half fast and not wholely. I really wanted a cold one. so at like 6pm, there I went. I knew this was a mistake, I don't really last long with those situations, and I'm known to most for passing the fuck out and shit. But on I drank. So now, I'm collecting thoughts and conversations from lastnight and I formally apologize for anything I said or done, cuz, it was just one of those nights. I was drinking whisky. And right now I can only remeber Shanti telling me she spilled beer and asked for a towel in which I replied, 'Don't worry I'll slurp it up later'. Sorry about that. But a lot people should realize I have two other roomates who can service these issues, especially when they are sitting in the same room and may possibly be less drunk than I and able to move swiftly and not fall over, instead of following my answers with other snide remarks. [yea, i caught that] So, That's all I got so far, along with some insane and dirty dancing. Am I in trouble? someone tell me for the love of god.

I'm tired. All the time. Shift work sucks. Drains the blood from my body into my feet leaving barely nothing to keep me alive. I'm currently working on a master plan to work around this. Which involves not making plans all the time. I've come to realize, that between work and outside of work, I have no godamn time to myslef ever. I cant even remeber the last time I spent half a day or a whole day just being useless and oidng nothing with no one around to entetain. I crave a day like that. When I'm not at work, I'm around people. Not napping or taking it easy, taking pictures..just all over the effin place. I fear that i am losing my creative self so bad. But the realizations will bring healing. I hope.

I need a new job. a more steady, stable, easier one. They expect to much for minimum wage, and its almost un-livable. I remeber working my ass off, picking up shifts almost everyday to have extra cash for the Halifax trip. and I didnt make enough. I couldn't enjoy the excessive shopping with my mates at all, just had anough to feed myself and chuck up on gas, and a rad hemp lip balm from the body shop. and even that whole situation was a bust cuz I went without anything til this Thursday when I got pain but that was gone to more bills. I, am getting, nowhere. [god i'm bitching, blame whisky] AND ANTOTHER THING...Dear customers, i am a human being. Not an iten for sale or part of the store. A human. You talk to me like one, and treat me like one. You dont crash into me like I'm haging on the wall or on a shelf, you dont talk to me like I'm a super zellers machine. I demand a more respecable job. God I hope I don't treat other assocaites in any store like most people treat me at Zellers. See? They need to pay me more for this. I had an interview with NSLC, which went awesome, but, te nice people  met don't have the final say in hiring, head office in halifax does. So hopefully that goes well. Now the liquor store I can deal with...in many ways.

My life is just in a rut right now. Thanks blogging media for letting me bitch. I need to make some plans soon. I need to fix my brain, and hop on a better train. I'm losing my soul man. my creativity. all in all, i need me-time. and i need to leave my cell-phone at home so i dont make after work plans. too much of myself is in other places and not with me. make any sense? well, here's to a btter tomorrow...

~NARM.

chrunch crunch crunch mmmmm has anyone tried these new pringles stix?  i'm eating the honey butter flavouv and MMM damn. so good. Thank you Marcus for opening my eyes to them.. : )

Life is.

yea. just is.

At least I have next weekend. Life seems better when you have something to look forward to. Like and event, a show, a holiday, a birthday, Evolve, the days where when you look head to them you feel so happy it's coming. But then the day comes and passes ad then it gets dark again. maybe not just saying. But, next weekend I will be escaping to Halifax! Cortez, Mitch, Dee and a newly announced Betty are going for 3 nights 4 days. Special events include mad cuddles with everyone I miss so dearly and the Fetish Ball. This will be my 3rd year going, and I'm excited not knowing what I'm going to wear yet. I'm just excited to ESCAPE THE CAPE for a few godamn days. who blames me? yes thats right. thought so. But then it will pass...and then there will be Evolve. haha.

Working at Zellers is ok. for now.

nothing much else in other news. besides receiving these gross pictures of my man's mouth. poor thing. got all 4 wisdom teeth out. : S

I guess...that's my blog. Off to mother's for coffee and cable television.

~N.Videotape

P.S: Now on TWITTER. twitter.com/nin005    I don't give a fuck, it's cool and neat and it is not facebook.

I think I finally figured out why I don' t have a job by now....a little simple fact that may have fucked everything, every resume I passed out. And like I mentioned, I can't think of many places left in this town that DOES NOT have a resume of mine. Morrison Powell from my last job- Picturesque Photography..told me to use the old office's number for his reference. He said he was switching the system so that it linked to a forwarding number directly to him so that people could still order pictures from him if need be. Because, he has a history of clients that may still want pictures...makes sense right? Wrong. Because I just called that number to make sure it still worked...and guess effin what? It's completely dis-connected. WTF MORRISON! Thanks for the heads up man. The very first reference on page two of my resume is his. And whomever tried that very first reference, didn't get any answer. That makes me look awesome hey. I'm gonna change it of course. but not much use after handing out resumes to all of Sydney. All I'm saying is, it makes so much more sense now.

I'm at the edge of....well lets just say my world is flat. And I am at the edge.

I went form being ok and needing a job, to now, not ok and i still need that job. But, I spoke to an old friend who might be able to help me out. It may mean going back to EDS, but guess effin what? I don't care. Especially is said friend turns out to be my trainer. Cuz he's awesome and I miss him. ANYWAYS! next discussion...I need advice and any words that may help:

I need out of this town. I would have been gone already but I decided it was best I get a boyfriend. He's still in school and graduates this year, and hopefully if all goes well, we'll work something out to move on from this place. He's not the only thing that contributes to why I am still here. I had good jobs on the go, I have awesome friends, my family....But now I have no job. And this place dosn't have anything available for me. Or at least,no one is interested in what I have to offer.

Question is: Where should I go?

Haliwood, Montreal, Toronto or Vancouver?

Haliwood: I have many friends there. Good friends. People I know and trust. I know if I go there I will be familiarized with everything. I know my way around fairly well. But, what about a good job? Seems like Nova Scotia employs top professionals like doctors and lawyers etc. Lacking in the arts. Whats in Hali that I'd want for a job? Some people I know who moved there, moved right into the regular ol' call centre thing...whats the use in that?

Montreal: Has a rad film school that has a cool ass program based for aspiring directors. I'd love that. but they only accept TWO applicants per term. which is also rad, but who knows if I'd get in. I know no one there, except Murdock whom I havn't spoken to since he left C.B. But I love that city. It makes me happy, and it i rich in the things I love...art...music.

Toronto: Same as above as in its rich in the arts. Plus a few friends that live there. Not so sure about schools I'd want to go to, But it does have lots of job opportunities I could beg for. Way more than here or Hali.

Vancouver=Vancouver Film School. Enuff said. No. It's not. I REALLY want to go there! I dont really have any contacts there aside from Madeline, Petey Pablo and an old Family friend named Leanne. BUT! That film school is my dream. I would do ANYTHING to get there. And I just might....tiny steps then big ones right.

So for the next few months I'll be saving monies...well...givin I get some fucking job around here...and making a plan. Something makes me feel like...Toronto then Vancouver. whoe the frig knows, but I am going somewhere's else. I've made up my mind. And I will be leaving someday this year [hopefully].

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We just got back from a loooong days driving. Cortez drove up to Remy's to drop off his guitar. Yesterday I did a shoot of Remicus. IT IS by far my favourite shoot I have dont to date. You'll eventually see I'm sure, and you'll know what I'm talking about. So after dropping off that beauty of a gee-tar, and I dropped off and app. to EDS..[that's right, I'd work there agian if it meant not ICT], we decided it was too lame to just be home. We went home for a few minutes to gather music and cigarettes for Cortez, grab a Roach and an Andy, and hit the road and headed North.

Cortez wanted 'Wabos Pizza' in Cheticamp, so that seemed like a decent goal. We drover there to find the damn place was closed! hahaha!! So what now? Welll...simple! Take the Cabot Trail home! Which we did! Even though it's early spring, and most of the Northern parts are still snowy and the trees naked, it was still a sight to see! And there was an abundance of snow squalz that made things trippier. Mind you, we may have almost gotten lost and stranded, but I so needed today. I needed to completely hear my play-list and admire some of  the Island's beauty. I needed to be with my lovies and just get lost in the mountains and think. We were gone for like...6 hours. It was long but so nice.

So now, I'm back home in my messy as hell room care of my two crazy catz and cuz I'm just a slob. Blogging and thinking about tomorrow...and the future. Maybe I'll turn on Twilight...and relax. Mybe I'll beg the dream god Morpheus to give me a solid 8-9 hours of sleep. Goodnight.

~N.Radiohead

After hiataz from blogging...here I am again. Spilling the beans of my brain all over the keyboard.

I quit there for a bit, not sure how long, After false aligations against me talking shit about someone not even spoken about in one of my previous blogs, due to opinionated comments. Drama-central. People don't know how to read. I was done.

BUT. I don't know man. I effin like the tool.

What's been going down with me? Bullshit and boredom. EVERYDAY is a new pile. EVERYDAY I apply to 6-7 places for a job. EVERYDAY I feel more and more lost in the world.

I even applied to ICT...THAT interview was a nightmare. Ya know how you make promises to yourself..like, I'll never drink again, or I'll never get a facebook? Well one of mine was...I'll never sep foot in the ICT building in my life. And I did : ( and I felt more lost. Why? Over the past several years since that place opened I never heard one good dam thing about it. I had fear. And I think it came out through the interview. It was all bullshit and scary and drab. The chick who interviewed me knew me very well without me speaking 2 words. WHY? Cuz I worked at EDS at one time. So BAM, she knew eeeerything about me. They didn't call me back. Releif.

But no one else likes me. siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

Maybe I'll try EDS again...at leats that place is brighter.

We got a new roomate. Mason left, Roach moved in. And I am fucking pumped as hell! So far so good and she's been awesome! I'm just glad the new roomate was a girl. Don't get me wrong, living with 6 other boys isn't bad at all. I love my broz, best band of mates ever. But, a female for once=nice. I feel happier here these days. Minus the high stress levels of no job and people bitching at me cuz of stupid shit.

Anyways, thats it for now I guess. Gonna go visit my mommy, cuz I need mommy-coffee and love. Ten tonight I believe, will be pre irish shindigz....party?

~N

What an odd state I'm in lately. GOD! I don't really know how to explain it. Maybe bi-polar is the best explanation. I've been so blah!  Last week, I don't even know how to describe last week. It came and went and I didn't feel a thing. This is crazy! On to my latest apartment rant...I'm getting more and more grossed out as the weekends pass. Seriously. grossed out. I woke up yesterday morning with my cranky pants on, and called my mommy all upset. Because unlike the rest of the folk who said they were taking a break themselves, I meant it. Let me tell you, It's hard choosing to be sober and trying to sleep throughout the rest of the apartments events.  Friday night was horrid. I was completely dead. One, because Thursday night was enough for me and secondly Friday was kind of busy. All i wanted to do was make a bite to eat, turn on a movie and sleep. But no. The regular alcoholics and nose surfers had to show up AGAIN. I'm starting to wonder if these people actually get formal invites to this place or do they just show up assuming the rest of us will be on the same page? I woke up and wished I didn't live here.  I wished I has my own place to myself. Somewheres were I get to choose whos there and the noise level. Somewhere's I could sleep quietly not concerned about what state my apt going to be in when I wake up.  I got out of bed and opened the door to disguisting floors. I guess no one knew how to remove footwear. I went to the bathroom, no toilet paper. Figures, drunks pee alot. Oh and great, a used tampon applicatoer on top of my toilet. Perfect. This was the best way to wake up I know right. I immediately got dressed and left, wishing I could throw a lit match to the fucking catastrophe of an apt. Don't worry guys, I'll clean your fucking mess, even thought I had nothing to do with the get-together. I think mom's freaking, I doubt I look anywhere's near healthy. I realized yesturday after leaving, and after taking numerous crying fits, that the stress is taking its tole on my physically and mentally. This needs to stop, I am going crazy.

I know what you're thinking. Jesus Nina, more ranting about you apartment why dont you just MOVE!

Believe me the thought is becming more and more appealing as time passes.

Friday I also payed a Visit to Bryan who showed me the best short films ever. Jim Hensen's short films to be exact. Check out 'Time Piece' 'King of 8' and 'Queen of 6' If you can find em. AWESOMENESSSSS! Jim Hensen is forever a hero. We also watched many other great things liiiike, Roco's Modern Life and Chappelle's show....and and so much more cuz that's how we roll. Bryan, indeed, does know what's best.

Anyone read this? Probably not but..... http://blog.amandapalmer.net/
This is outrageous! They banned 'Oasis' in the U.K? I could see it being banned here in North America, but the U.K? The anarchy we dont give two fucks punk rock freedom capitol of the world? JESUS THE WORLD IS ENDING! Amanda Palmer makes really good points in her blog. One being that its one thing to understand and take action against a problem such as rape and abortion, but if you feed the demon you will drown in the negativity. Shining light on such situations how ever, would put humans at ease. Fuckers! Hopefully they'll realize how stupid they're acting and give the poor girl a break. the song is killer, comical and the video is entertaining! Michael Pope strikes again! I just had to bring this up....because its a shitty deal. ITS ART! 

For your entertainment..   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vVnhBqKXSQ       What do yoooou think? Obscene or comical?

I had the opportunity to work with my friend Jenn Perry this week, which was rad. She messaged me Monday saying how she wanted to take pictures really bad. So, I volunteered. And let me tell you, I now know how peole feel when they are in front of that camera. I'm so used to being the one behind the camera, not in front. And I'm so used to relying on myself for self portraits, cuz I try til I get it at least a little bit right and have a decent end photo. Leaving that to another person is TERRIFYING!  It was different. I mean the last person I had professionally do something for me was my grad photo, and that was barely a good experience. BUT! Jenn worked her magic, and I did what she told me to. And to my suprise the end results look pretty good. I'm happy with the pictures : )  Of course on some I was very critical of myself, but thats a human thing isnt it? Anyways...Here's a few, well, my tops favz.







More can be seen on either my facebook page or Jenn Perry's, and soon to be my myspace.
HUGE THANKS JENN! I LOVE YOU!

Anyways, Its Sunday and Glenn has just offered to cook me bagettiz. WIKED! All humans need to sample this man's cooking. Then you may consider dying, because life will then be complete. Here's to hoping for a better week.

Cheerz.

ITS WONDERFUL AND I FEEL GREAT WHEN, WE'RE TOGETHER!

Mary-Jean Doyle, Eh hem, Mary-Jean MacLean is the goddess gift to mankind. And me. Girl, you're the fucking bomb and I am so glad we eloped to Egypt.

This past weekend was rocky. I learned new things about people. You are all monsters. greedy selfish alcoholic drug addict losers with no respect. all of you! no im kidding. just the mass majority of you. no im kidding, just the disrespectful lot that came AGAIN to the building. Kudos to those of you who ran your mouth at the upstairs causing such feelings in me to come out. Kudos to those who said they had our backs and went ahead and contradicted themselves and invited a million people and told me to deal with it. Life lessons rule. I came to the life altering decision that I cant take anymore of that lifestyle, and that if the nonsense grows further I am in fact leaving. say what you will, i dont care. it was said that there will be abreak, we'll see about that i guess. Friday night was for the most part fun, but if you were there, you'll know what i'm talking about.

The one person who kept me sane was M.J, the best sexy date of life. godamn you're the best, girl! we had trippy experiences that night. one being, going to the upstairs and having the bathroom all to ourselves to trip balls at the mirrors and take cheesy cellfone pictures. uninterrupted! then we danced and missioned and had fun. [minus hearing the words 308 afterparty on everyon's lips] then we left early to beat the rush back home. we crossed george street, to cut through a series of parkinglots beside those brick government building that leads right onto charlottel street. M.J, the little pixie fun-bot she is, decided to climb a snow bank. she disappeared to the other side, and i was like 'oh no m.j i'll come find you!' as i turn to my left to circle around the mound of snow i paused and heard a fluttering noise come from the garage/fence/pine tree area in front of me. then i realized WOA, the trees were infested with black crows! I was like 'M.J! come look at this!' we stood very still and observed the crow-filled-trees. a few birds flew off, and then we realized, EVERY TREE surrounding the whole parking lot was black, filled with crows. It was absolutly wonderfully amazing. We kept walking through instead of turning back. We felt very vulnerable, in the middle of all this. But it was too beautifully mezmerizing to leave. Its moments like these that fufill my life. Random unexpetced moments of seeing things like this, meeting random people, having random conversations. I live for those moments. and when they happen, I cant even tell you the emotions i have. I am so grateful for life when the randomness comes to visit.

The afterparty was o.k. I guess. I pretty much stayed in my livingroom and kept to myself. that's all i shall speak about that.

I had an epiphany leaving my mother's house to go to Mitchell's the next day. I realized that I want to quit everything thats bad for me. the partying, the alcohol, the pot, the other ugly things. I'm cutting down and quitting. Downsizing those things and cutting them out before it goes too far. Actually it was a wise Steve Bagz that inspired some of this. He had very good words to say about quitting pot, and he made absolute sense. then saturday's epiphany, then Rachelle's facebook note which I read today. I've been doing things lately I shouldn't be, and I'm stopping before things get out of hand. So, I am taking my reins and leading myself into another for healthy direction.

I'd like to point out that I am indeed, OK.

I've taken my blog to Facebook. which is, filled with more people who read it. And my last post raised alot of concern from a lot of people. I felt on the spot and second guessed posting on facebook. But I am actaully grateful! thank you those who responded with kind word and concern. I feel loved, I really do. and am glad you were fore and not against what i had to say. I realize i am actually surrounded by the best and awesomest people! thank you guys so much, It means alot to me. It was unfourtunate that I had a lot of negative things going on that I ranted about in my last post, but blogging is like a therapy, the words just spill out. try it!

In other news, my computer tower power button broke. damnit! Mitch picked it up and his dad's gonna look into fixing it for me. But of course it had to break right? cuz its me, and those things have to happen to keep me in chack with the fact that life luxuries such as technologies arn't meant for me. Ihope it can be fixed. If not ah well, I'm grateful for the time that computer and I had together, and the amazing gesture it was on Mitchell's behalf. Its just never meant to be.

Also in other news, I'm hungry. Gonna go raid mothers cupboards now.

P.S: Rachelle Finlay is the shit. Fuck You those who think differently. Babe, I love you more than you know, and I'm sorry M.J and I eloped behind you're back. But we're open to a 3 way relationship if you decide to forgive us...

I can always depend on you, livejournal. tou're always here to listen.


I'm sitting here in my room. yes, my own bedroom, which is now equipped with its own computer station that popped up out of nowhere within minutes. I was chatting with Mitch about how I kind of went overboard on my phone resulting in a bill double what it usually is, i blamed it on the christmas holidays and how i pretty much abused the free minutes i had and then some. but was nervsous i was getting charged for texting email adresses and such, but i wasnt, i just went $11 over minute charges and bought myself a pretty girl anachronism ringtone that was supposed to be $4 but got charged $8...and a mysterious long distance call. hrmmm. ANYWAYS! Mitch says, 'well i have a solution for all your communication problems, i have a computer for you. not just a computer, all the fixings too, and a corner desk.' he got it from his neighbor for 1) helping her find a new laptop and 2) being her friendly matinence guy for the past 2 years. but there was no way i could accept all of this for free. so against my will he shows up that evening with all this stuff!! I swear I'll repay him somehow...but yes, here i am. struggling to keep a strong connection with heavy d's wireless, blogging about how i got a new computer facility in my bedroom.

Other than that things are o.k i guess. but ot for the most part. I've been feeling useless and fighting bad demons of depression. successfully. I've just been feeling bad. in the last three weeks i dropped of resumes EVERYWHERE minus anything fastfood or call centre related, those were the last places to look. also emailing resume by resume to everything on the job bank. nothing. well thats a lie, i had a gig lined up but it meant having to go apply for E.I, because it was a program built for people on it. I was confused, arn't those programs built for peole to get back in the workforce? they were pretty much requesting i do it...but i couldnt cuz i've only really been part time at picturesque since last june, so, didnt qualify. other than that, not a single person likes me. it sucks having hope for something good around here. it sucks having each day leak by and still no glimmer of hope for and upcoming pay cheque. Why is it so damn hard in this town? so this week was the deadline, then i would surrender to the callcentre world (once again) and whatever else. its so damn annoying, and a bad time of year. oh and not to mention the annoying resession dealio thats slowly then quickly kicking our asses. BUT! I had a meeting with darcy campbell of shot on site media yesturday and i think he's gonna hook me up with some jobs around the studio. He's fucking rad and i can't wait to work with him. I'm effin pumped about that. ironically enough he has just moved into picturesque's old office space. RIOT! But I'm satisfied just playing it by ear.

Did anyone watch anything OBAMA-Inaguration-related? I DID! Holy shit that man has charisma! I like him. CHEERS TO THE FUTURE!  I think I'm the only one I know who gave a fuck about that historic day, because everyone I've spoken to seemed out of the loop and didnt give two shits, maybe its time you started, its your world too.

In other life news, nothing much.  I've been playing around with my video camera again. which feels nice. I've been so photography-based since graduation pretty much. so now I'm gonna shy away from it a little and get my hand dirty in filmages. oooh ya. Glenn was playing his bas to a D.J playing a party downstairs over the last weekdend, which i shot a good portion of. we're gonna shoot some more and see where it goes. its fun! and am thinking of starting some random storyboards to medd with. and i have some collage idea id like to start too...maybe i will today : )  dont' get me wrong, i'll still be doing freelance photography as requested. all is good. visual art ftw.

Something else I'd like to talk about, cuz it invokes certain uneasy feelings in me. These little rave parties the naybros have been holding are kinda slowly getting to me. I have come to realize that i have to join the party in order to cope with the booming vibrations that come up throught my bedroom floor. it has come down to the idea that if i cant party or dont feel like it, i have no choice in any matter but to leave my house and sleep somewheres else. or, pick that day to party and try to have fun. but even then i cant. because my apartment then also becomes a free-for-all for the party downstairs and i cant seem to enjoy myself without always constantly checking my door to monitor traffic, make sure my cats dont escape, and that no sketchies are going upstaris. wheres the happy medium in all of this? this place has become a little to popularized for our own good. and what can i say? anything i've said in the past left peole talking shit behind my back after asking them to keep the noise down. sorry, but when 7am rolls around and it still feels like i pulled up a sleeping bag on the floor of the capri i tend to get annoyed? can YOU blame me? it seems they do. I dont even have a opinion it seems. because i live up here and they live down there. sometimes i dont even feel safe. my things dont feel safe. just this past weekend i was sitting in mason's room, and watched 3 stranger walk into my apt, and into the grand bathroom. i knocked on the dorr and was like wtf! they were gonns do lines of whatever in my bathrrom! i fucking kicked them out. this is not the lifestyale i had leaving my mothers house. this is not how i want to or chose to live. but here i am, living in it. its everywhere every weekend, its come down to if you cant beat em join em. drugs drugs drugs, techno techno techno, strangers and sketchyness and invasion. its slowly maddening me. id just like a full couple weekends without it. i'd be happy. but no. lets not damage the funhouse reputation 308 has. so this weekend there is yet again another party, an afterparty. i did plan on partying that night, cuz theres an upstairs show that happens only like once a month if not more. but im trying to get cortez and mason to carry thier house keys on them so we can actually have full control over OUR apartment. I hope it works. And i'm sorry if this rant offends anyone, but truely its how i feel, and thinking about my living situation makes the feelings worse. yaz wont listen to me any other way. that's that.

This past Sunday we celebrated my grandmother's 70th birthday. Woa. 70. She dosnt seem that old though. It was amazing. We had a good portion of the clan under one roof. hasnt been like that since I'd saaaay 9 or 10 years, since my grandmother moved off of brookland st here in sydney to kimberly drive in sydney river. we ALWAYS used to stuff ourselves in her house, kicthen party it up and have good times and share stories. but that kinda faded away. So sunday was epic in its own way. Looking around the room, seeing how everyone ha changed, and thinking wow i've also changed. It was a fabulous celebration, and as stubborn as Stookie is and didnt want the party to begin with, I could tell she had the best birthday in years. : )

I think i might be bored, look at this blog! I dont really have anything left in me to talk about haha...
Gonna go find a movie to watch now I think....

~Nina

Why didnt I know this band since the dawning of thier time?

And why is it that Bryan knows me too well. Its like he knows that once he shows me something how headfirst I'd be into it within moments. I knew he liked then bunches...but I didnt know I did until he stuffed my mp3 player with a bunch of PIP. Among other amazing stuff I'd never taken a second listen to, like Interpol...but Sorry B-man, I couldnt stand the Motley Cru..(sp?) Never could, dunno if I ever will.

There's no music video, but this compilation does the trick for me anyways, this, my friends, is my new favourite song, can't get enuff of it ... www.youtube.com/watch 
While I have you're attention...www.youtube.com/watch   annnnd of course  www.youtube.com/watch


O.K I'm a nerd.
O.K enuff of that.

Other news...Weekend was ok. Friday was Amazinf tho, Roach and I drunkily missioned. It was aweseom mainly cuz well, it was one hell of a ruff week, and I just said fuck it an let loose. It felt amazing. Thanks Roach!  Lastnight didnt do much at all....missioned around with my man, went to Bryan's, then home, Where I passed out shortly after 12 watching Dogma...Great movie! One of my all-time favz. But man I was tired haha. It was also momz birthday and it was amazing the difference between her birthday this year to last year....this year she slept all day! and didnt even want a beer! Last year I remember how wild it was, we partied like madwomen!!!! [pix on facebook I beleive] Ah well...next year..

Also in other news, I'm on the fourth book in the Twilight series. I know EXACTLY what your thinking. Because I've gotten the same reaction out of every single person when 'Twilight' is brought up in conversation. Mother wouldn't shut up about the movie/book, and Oprah. So I bought it for her for Xmas. but couldnt help but read it before wrapping it. C'mon, It was a Monday and I was off. I read half the thing that very day. BUT APPERENTLY the saga is way bigger then I thought, It's what happens when you move out of your momz and you know longer feel a need for T.V. So when I brought it up i got the uuuuuughhh's and gaaaah's and wtf's from like everyone. JEEZ SORRY. Just for that I'm gonna buy the second book, and that i did. For like $2, cuz i exchanged an Anne Rice book mother got me for Xmas, and I already read it. Saw the movie with Mitchell, I have mixed feelings I guess, but what could ya ask for in two hours from a 500+ paged book? So now, I'm on the fourth installment, and I'm more a Stephanie Meyer fan than 'Twilight' ya know what I mean. She's good. ANND As most of you know, I AM a sucker (pun) for anything Vampyyyyrreeeeee : ) So fuck you. You obviously dont know what you're missing.

Tomorrow is Monday. And the second day I try to find a new job. For the love of god! My luck has totally run out. I've been getting sweet ass gigz since graduation, now I'm stuck with nothing. I'd like to admit to wanting something a little more permanent, but I can't bring myself to it. Permanent is a very very potent word. But at this point anything will do. I'm safe for now, I mean I still have money, But I mean, I also dont wanna see my savings vanish. I'm looking towards maybe getting out of here, so thats a good push for me.


To the future!

2009 sucks so far....

It didnt really hit me that the holidays were over til monday. Monday was the day Leah left, last of the holiday visitors. Or so that I know of...I woke up sad cuz she left my apartment the night before. Fine NFLD, you won this time. And then everyone was having a bad day as well right off, and it totally didnt make me feel better.. It felt like every second person on my msn list was messaging me with a problem. This put a damper on any ambition I had for the day. I had plans, to go do that find a job thing. But I just became numb! Depressed! If it wern't for Glenn's big bear hug who knows if I woulds melted back to normal. But in any case I jes figured it was the whole monday after the holidays thing, It wasnt just me it was EVERYONE. So I felt better. But I mean the rest of the week was dreary and flew by too fast. I seriously need a new job and soon. I'm Bored to fuck. but I dont want a stoopid job. Ya know what fuck who cares, I'll take anything. I have this ambition to just save up and move on from this place. A few places look good so far. We'll see.

So TGIF. where's the beer.